Don’t cry out loud…

This will be my very last post from Portland until I return, and while it’s a classic Spring day here in P-town (look out your window), I am looking forward to getting a move-on. For one, I’m sick and tired of packing, cleaning, and packing some more. But what’s really getting to me now is repeatedly passing by my wine collection as I make trips up and down the cellar stairs. Time for the Kleenex…

Didn’t somebody once sing “…’cause breaking up is hard to do”? Or how about “Goodbye my lover”? “Leaving on a jet plane”? Maybe “Time in a bottle”. You get the point. I’m leaving all my bottled babies, big, small, fortified, sparkling, and so on. And I just have one thing to say about this: WAAAHH!


I know: what a big, whiny cry-baby. I can’t help it– I’ve had some of these bottles for many years and you get to a point where they become regular characters in your life. Buds. Amigos. Some of you probably speak to your houseplants. I’ve taken to conversing with my wine bottles over the years.

“What’s up Mr. Chianti? You comfy there under Ms. Chablis? I’ll bet…” I’d hear something, look up and see my wife peering down the stairs with an expression of combined amusement, concern, and what I think is disgust. What can I say? We have something special.

Dealing with this soon-to-be loss has tested the limits of my Zen nature; I’ve been telling myself that possession is for chumps, right? It’s only wine (WAAAAHH) and besides, it will be in good hands while I’m gone. My friend, whom I trust with my life, will be safeguarding “the family” while I’m overseas. The mousetraps, homing devices, and black widow spiders I’ve planted in the boxes are in no way a reflection of any mistrust I may have. Just a security measure.


Before I say adios until next time, I would remind you all that wine is meant to be shared, enjoyed and explored — not hoarded, guarded and coveted. In an attempt to live up to this ideal, I went downstairs last night to choose a wine after a long day of packing, cleaning, and packing. I only spent twenty minutes debating over which bottle to sacrifice, and when I returned from the depths and opened the wine (a 2003 single vineyard Fiano, Pietracalda, from Feudi di San Gregorio), I was rewarded for my bravery with an amazing wine– luscious, supple, and clearly in its prime. “See?” I told myself. “You can open a bottle here and there… just save some for later on!”

Cheers and tears,



~ by Jared on March 25, 2009.

17 Responses to “Don’t cry out loud…”

  1. That much cleaning? Maybe I’m glad we never came over for dinner. Har. That Fiano looks yummy. Is it five o’clock yet? After I get back from the clinic(Betty Ford) I will pick up a bottle. Good luck out there in the real world. Please go somewhere dry and warm.


    • Swaffle house,

      “warm and dry”? Our first destination overseas is…..SCOTLAND. You know that land of sunny beaches, tanned women, and tropical cuisine?
      Marone. At least the Scotch will keep me warm!

      Cheers big daddy,

      • Ah yes. Be sure to pick up a copy of “The Worlds Greatest Scottish Chefs”. It is the worlds smallest book printed on a 3×5 index card. Two words for you. The Glenlivet.



  2. I miss you already.

  3. Mmm, I have a bottle of that in my cellar (read:mantle) – perhaps it’s time I discover it… God knows I could use a bottle, or two after today! Great writing though, seriously. -Yaz

    • Thanks Yazafraz.

      The Fiano was like a tropical fruit salad. With cream.

      You and I are the only two people laughing at that right now…


  4. Adios mi Amigo…my heart and soul goes with you on your journey -since my butt has to stay here in Portland – for now – I look foward to toasting you and your explorations with a smile and wine stained teeth…smiles and hugs…

    • Back at ya Kari…

      I’ll keep a look-out for some really nice sauv blanc for you. Remember albarino and white wines from Rueda…. these are your friends!

      Big love (but not like the HBO show…),

  5. I’m SO excited to follow you in your new adventures!


    • Thanks Brooke.

      I’ll miss you and your great laugh. Keep all those clowns in line!


  6. There must be some Champagne in your cellar somewhere. I hope you pop one before you leave. Its the only way to begin (and end) a new chapter. Best wishes and I do hope you can meet me somewhere in Italy this June!


    • Hey Chris…

      You’re on! I’ll keep you posted where I am at that time, and I’ll see if we can’t break bread somewhere.

      Hope you and Rach had a great time in Me-hi-ko. Be well, amigo…


  7. J,
    Have a fantastic and safe journey! With you conquering Europe, P-Town is now officially searching for the new gold standard of class and intergrity.
    We all await the stories of adventures to come…

    • Gold standard of goofiness, maybe…

      Thanks brother. Keep me posted on what wines are blowing your mind in the NW, ok?

      Vikes in ’09??


  8. Looking forward to your dispatches from the bonnie Isle of Bute. I am jealous of your future proximity to the Talisker Distillery (ok, it is not next door to Bute but a lot closer than I am right now). Slàinte!

  9. Seneca had a great time with you all this weekend! I wish I could have been with you for the sale at the house. I can’t wait for you to start travelling, eating, drinking…and realizing you still have to workout after all that!! ha! Love ya guys!

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